English Montessori education, as explained in the book *The First Three Years of Life*, states that the interaction pattern between a mother and her infant deeply influences their relationship.

Are you unknowingly making many mistakes?

Every moment spent with your baby is a challenge to the parent-child relationship. Is it a date or a battle? It all depends on how well you understand your child!

Babies Need Consistent Parenting

From birth, babies possess an incredibly strong motivation to learn. Knowing nothing about the world, they gradually piece together their understanding by exploring every sound, light, shadow, and movement. If the adults around them provide supportive smiles, they learn that their actions are welcome. If adults constantly restrict their movements, their "inner urge to explore" conflicts with the environment, leading to crying and tantrums. If adults alternate between tolerating and suppressing their exploration, or even punishing them, the baby will feel insecure, leading to timid or disruptive emotions and behaviors.

What kind of signals does your baby often send you?

All of a baby's behaviors reflect their current inner state. Excluding immediate physiological needs, behaviors like crying, fussing, or being clingy are mostly due to a lack of security or an inner sense of order. "Crying" is the communication language a baby uses for their needs. When a child is emotional, adults may respond with patience at times and impatience at others. More often, when talking doesn't work, adults might suddenly resort to strict rules to force submission. To the baby, the adult appears very emotional!

Babies truly don't understand why adults are nice one moment and not the next......

From a baby's perspective, crying is a primary channel for expression and communication, especially before they have full verbal skills. It's the most effective way for them to get a message across. Think of it like playing badminton: when the baby serves, the adult hits it back. If the adult uses 10 units of force every time, the baby gets used to where to catch the ball and develops a rhythm with the adult. But if the adult uses 10 units one time, 3 units the next, and 6 units after that, the one receiving the ball will be exhausted. Eventually, they might hit a "ground ball" (throwing a tantrum on the floor) or an "out-of-bounds ball" (acting out, hitting, or biting). This duo is destined to become rivals, both feeling angry, hurt, and tearful! (Yes, many parents and teachers are driven to tears by this.)

Even very young babies can tell if you are a "pro" (giving consistent responses) or an "amateur" who can't control their strength (e.g., giving unlimited freedom one moment and restricting everything the next).

Therefore, babies will exhibit different states depending on the environment! Teacher Pei-yi loves observing parent-child interactions and is an expert in guiding parent-teacher dynamics. The same child will react differently to different people.

Since the child remains the same, the "variable" is definitely the adult, though adults often fail to see the problem in themselves. Since you've read this far, here is a specific suggestion and a small exercise:

Reflection:When interacting with you, is your baby the "Tyrant," "Timid," "Fire-breathing Dragon," "Wild," or "Communicative" type?

Exercise:Choose one task and execute it 10 times with a "gentle tone but firm attitude." See if the baby's speed of cooperation increases or if they simply follow your request. (e.g., putting their cup in its designated spot.)

Our relationship with our children is built on the experiences accumulated through every interaction. Don't underestimate a single reaction; it becomes a "reference value" for the baby's future interactions with you. This relationship is the key to success in kindergartens, nurseries, and childcare, and it is the foundation of your "parenting emotional bank account." Our time with our babies isn't about winning or losing, but about finding a harmonious balance where both feel comfortable. By investing a little time each day in reflection and practice, you too can become a parenting expert!