The memory of families dining together is the best form of home education.

Accumulating Family Memories at the Dinner Table

I love observing the interactions between people in restaurants. Everything from the naturalness of their body language, the frequency of their eye contact, and the expressions on their faces, to their posture, the messiness of the table, and even the way they use their utensils—all of these make for excellent exercises in behavioral analysis.

Now, don't read this and think I’ve lost my mind to my studies or that I’m constantly conducting social science research. Of course not! But I have always believed that every human behavior has an underlying cause. The dynamics at a dining table perfectly reflect "parenting" and "social trends." The former stems from the examples set by the previous generation, while the latter is assimilated from peers. Not only do these two influences act upon each other, but the scene at the dinner table can also predict the future of a parent-child relationship.

Who We Are Now is Who We Will Be in the Future

A common grievance among modern parents is not knowing how to get their children to behave during meals. To ensure a peaceful dinner, out comes the smartphone for the child to scroll through. This is especially prevalent with younger children—even those under a year old—where meals are routinely paired with children's shows like Shimajiro. Every time I witness this, I can't help but feel a pang of worry. In the future, when these parents grow old, that little toddler today will likely "feed" them with videos in return. Why? Because that is the established pattern of their family life; that is the tradition of emotional connection in that household.

Think about how our own parents raised us. In an era before smartphones, when even televisions weren't widespread, how did parents handle children during meals? Or were children back then just naturally better behaved?

I believe that in the days before smartphones, the absolute best tool parents had to maintain order at the dinner table was continuous interaction!

Yes, it all comes down to that one word: interaction.

My parents used to sing to soothe me at the table, chat with me, and catch my attention with their eyes and facial expressions. Back then, parents were the ultimate smartphone screen. Today, however, the medium of interaction has shifted from the warmth of a parent's voice and expression to the flashing lights and sounds of a screen. Putting it that way, does it mean the smartphone has replaced the parent? It breaks my heart just thinking about it—that a parent's presence could be eclipsed by a phone.

Parents are a child's first teachers, and the home is a school for lifelong learning. Consequently, a parent's dining habits inevitably inherit the traits of the previous generation. Habits such as the neatness of the table, table manners, dining etiquette, and how one interacts with others are all seamlessly passed down during daily mealtimes.

There is a saying that if you want to vet a future son-in-law, invite your daughter's boyfriend over for dinner. You will immediately see his lifestyle habits and how considerate he is toward others. I completely agree with this. (In the future, my daughter's boyfriend will definitely have to share quite a few meals with me... haha!)

When my children grow up and look back on "mom's home cooking," I don't want their only memory to be a picture of everyone staring blankly at their own phones.

Please, put away the phones during meals. We aren't just sharing a table; we are enjoying time together. When our children grow up, their memories shouldn't just contain a specific flavor, but also the unique warmth that belongs to our family.